![]() ![]() And with this realization, I experienced the first bitter taste of giving up on an important person in my life. You showed me that truly cruel people do exist, and taught me that sometimes, there is no redemption or reconciliation. To believe the worst of someone because you can no longer see anything else. ![]() In the wreckage of our breakup, you showed me just how ruthless and manipulative you could truly be. I thought I had seen the worst of you in our time together. I never imagined you capable of taking advantage of me at my most vulnerable, in the safety of my own bedroom, brain fuzzy with sleep and exhaustion. Every uttered threat of physical violence against me. That you truly meant every shattered keepsake hurled against the wall. Of your malicious intent in using my kindness against me, punishing me to hurt and to control me. That you enjoyed every jagged wound, every invisible blow which made me curl into myself and look at the ground. Until it turned into fear.įor many months, I did not want to believe your cruel intentions. Until your false words of love and heartbreak left me with the empty taste of ashes in my mouth. Continued to spread insidiously through the people around us, when you realized your failure in wooing my friends to your side. The lies grew in your unsuccessful attempts to garner sympathy from those close to me. In your desperation, you tried to smother me in guilt for daring to leave, weaving a web of lies and deceit. What once seemed to be love, turned into obsession. I saw how far you would go to keep me bound to you. I began to grow nervous in the aftermath of our breakup. Because should everyone not deserve a second chance?Īnd so the months went by, and words in your defense slowly fell silent, one by one. Instead of anger and betrayal, I chose compassion. I wanted to believe your fervent apologies and your promises to change. ![]() I tried to find excuses for your anger and violence, and believed your pleas of ignorance, for all the pain you caused me. The terror of being exposed as the despicable person that you are, with your blackened soul for all to see.īut oh, I walked away, I walked away with a soft heart and pity on my tongue, blind to the darkness that festered in your heart. Of losing your hold over me, until I no longer needed or wanted you in my life. That I could walk away and never look back. ![]() Until I was conditioned to always put your needs and feelings before mine.īecause that was your worst fear, was it not? That one day I would leave you. Keeping me by your side, so satisfied with your own handiwork, to ensnare me in a cage until I no longer had the will to break out. Skillfully manipulating my fears to revolve around your happiness, by crushing my spirit into a guilt-ridden shade, crippled with anxiety of being too greedy or selfish. You delighted in using my weaknesses against me - cleverly taking advantage of my warm personality, and my desire to make those around me feel loved. You craved the power of holding someone’s heart in your hands – the power to hurt and the power to control. You saw every wound, every scar you left on me, and you relished it. It is the bitter realization that you knew exactly what you were doing to someone you were supposed to love. It is not the memories of your cruel words that echo in my head until I am cold with an empty sadness. After all that has happened, the hardest part is not the scar on my soul, one which still aches like an old wound when my mind wanders into the past. ![]()
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